Understanding the different ways that anger is expressed can help both you and your child work to better manage this emotion. There are five main styles, which fall into passive and active categories.
Passive Aggression
Passive aggression often leaves others to guess why you are angry, as you do not directly express this frustration. Example behaviors include:
- Engaging in behavior you know bothers others
- Arriving late intentionally
- Not completing tasks to which you agreed
Sarcasm
Sarcasm is another passive expression of anger. This form can be demonstrated either verbally or nonverbally through the following behaviors:
- Making cutting remarks
- Intentionally embarrassing others
- Expressing disgust or annoyance through your body language and tone of voice
- Ignoring requests to stop making comments which others do not find humorous
Cold Anger
This final passive expression of anger is marked by withdrawing from others. Examples include:
- Withholding attention or affection
- Avoiding intimacy
- Ignoring or stonewalling
Hostility
This first form of active anger is expressed outwardly, though with no intent to harm others. Behaviors could include:
- Eye rolling or sighing
- Finishing others’ sentences or showing other signs of impatience
- Raising your voice
Aggression
Aggressive behaviors have the greatest potential for harming others and causing significant problems. Examples of aggression are:
- Name-calling
- Hitting or pushing
- Invading personal space
If you recognize one of these styles of anger in yourself, stay tuned for strategies that can help.
Reference:
Nay, W.R. (2014). The anger management workbook. New York, NY: The Guilford Press.