Children are frequently faced with changes, including new classmates, teachers, and at times disappointments. Being able to navigate these new plans and situations is a critical skill, while inflexibility can result in meltdowns.

Signs Your Child Struggles with Flexibility

If your child has difficulty with any of the following areas (organized by grade level), they may have flexibility challenges:

Preschool/Kindergarten

  • Adjusting to changes in plans with a warning
  • Recovering from disappointments
  • Sharing toys with other children

First-Third Grade

  • Playing well with others (e.g., sharing, not bossing others around, etc.)
  • Able to be redirected when not following directions
  • Adjusting to unplanned situations

Fourth-Fifth Grade

  • Not getting hung up on negative events
  • Able to change plans due to unforeseen circumstances
  • Completing open-ended assignments with assistance

Sixth-Eighth Grade

  • Adjusting to different teachers and classrooms
  • Working with others in a group who are inflexible
  • Allowing younger siblings to make choices (e.g., picking where the family eats dinner)

Strategies to Address Flexibility Challenges

The following strategies can be implemented to help your child if they struggle with flexibility:

  • Don’t introduce too many changes at once
  • Keep to schedules and routines when possible
  • Warn your child in advance about what’s coming next
  • Provide your child with a script for challenging situations and rehearse it together
  • Simplify and break down tasks to make them feel less overwhelming
  • Provide your child with choices
  • Walk through anxiety-producing situations with your child
  • Use social stories to address challenging situations
  • Help your child develop coping skills (e.g., counting to ten, asking for help, etc.) for when they feel overwhelmed

By following these strategies, you can help your child better adapt to changes and unpredictability.

Reference:

Dawson, P., & Guare, R. (2009). Smart but scattered. New York, NY: The Guilford Press.