Often parents of children with ADHD find themselves getting into a number of arguments with their child throughout the day. If you write down all of the requests you make of your child each day, you might be surprised at the length of the list. By eliminating some of these tasks, you can reduce the potential for conflict and help ensure the most important tasks do get done. Take a request that typically causes conflict with your child and decide which of the following categories it fits into:
Urgent but Not Important
While asking your child to empty the kitchen garbage the night before garbage pickup may seem urgent, it is probably not that important. These are the sort of tasks that are generally not worth getting into an argument with your child over.
Not Urgent and Not Important
Having your child make their bed prior to school is neither urgent nor that important. These are the ideal tasks to eliminate from your daily list.
Urgent and Important
Finishing a final project before it is due is likely both urgent and important. By eliminating tasks in the prior categories, you can help your child focus on these tasks which deserve priority.
Not Urgent but Important
While having your child brush their teeth every night is important, it is generally not urgent. In general, these tasks should stay on your list, but they should fall below the urgent and important tasks and letting them go for a day or two may be worthwhile at times.
By writing down your daily list of requests for your child and determining which category they fit in, you can help eliminate arguments. The more essential tasks can be rewarded through a token economy to ensure they are completed.
Reference:
Barkley, R.A. (2021). 12 principles for raising a child with ADHD. New York, NY: The Guilford Press.